Phoenix Project: Day 19

Sundays are usually a pretty busy day for us; we have church meetings which take up much of the day. Today I was able to drive down to visit one of my units and see their New Beginnings program. Basically, it's an opportunity for the girls (12-18) to be acknowledged for their achievements and accomplishments. I LOVE these girls! They are truly amazing and they have wonderful, dedicated leaders and are supported by great parents. It was such an uplifting evening to hear the girls talk about their spiritual growth. I am very blessed to been able to be there with them!

Phoenix Project: Day 18

I think anyone who has boys has probably stumbled upon something like this:

Of course, it could also be a room full of cars or lego or trains. It's amazing to see how creative they can be and what they can come up with...this particular scene was not created from the mind of my 6 year old though...this scene was the creative genius of Bob, my 33 year old husband! Bob is the BEST dad EVER! Bob gets the kids ready for bed every night and as part of that routine he reads to each of the for at least 30 minutes. I usually play the role of the bad guy and come in to break up the fun because it's WAY past the kids bedtime. He is the FUN parent! He's the one that riding the cart through the grocery store and weaving in and around other patrons. He is a caring and devoted dad and today, that's what I'm grateful for!

Phoenix Project: Day 17

The fact that it's Friday automatically makes it a good day! As per Friday routine, gym in the morning (hooray!!) to workout all that jiggles. My day ended at 1:20 am with 2 good friends, a couple bowls of Cheetos and the Olympics...I don't think it gets much better than that!

Phoenix Project: Day 16

Tonight I put myself in time out. For me stress = irrational behavior so rather than inflict my family with more of my grouchiness I am sentenced to my room (where I will watch tv online until I fall asleep). I am grateful for a family that can endure my bad days and for the power of chocolate. TV online...amazing! I never miss a thing! If you haven't already, check out:

• www.globaltv.com
• www.ctv.ca
• www.citytv.com

Phoenix Project: Day 15

Today I am grateful for:

• family
• friends
• jolly ranchers
• and, it's one day closer to the weekend

Phoenix Project: Day 14

Hooray! TWO WEEKS! I'm pretty proud of myself; I have more posts in the last 2 weeks than I had in 2009 (yes, that means that blogging in 2009 was...non existent). I'm grateful for a few things today:

1. Skating with Lukas--I even laced up to hit the ice with him today. I did not fall down which is surprising because I haven't wore skates in 10 years!
2. Kelly and I went to work for a while; we make money and share great conversation.
3. Tasha was able to pick up Lukas for me because I was late getting back from work ;)
4. I spent some time with Mary and her crew making preparations for an activity tomorrow and Mary makes me laugh.
5. Bob and I got a chance to talk and watch a movie before turning in for the night.

It was a long day but full of good things!

Phoenix Project: Day 13

Wow! Lucky number 13! The snow is falling--not quite enough for the kids to have a snow day (which they are so disappointed by) but enough to making driving...interesting. My day was pretty uneventful...smooth sailing...until Bob got home from work. He's supposed to take Lukas skating tomorrow but he had a last minute conflict with work, again. I've been really, really trying to get to the gym a few times a week (work out a bit of that frustration) and because Bob can't go tomorrow, I'm going to miss my gym day, again. I knew there was no way I'd be able to get back to the gym again until Friday, so I did the completely logical thing--I totally lost it. Yep, super mature of me. I checked the class schedule for the gym and saw that there was a class starting tonight in 15 minutes but I knew, because of the crappy roads, there was no way I would get there on time. But, I changed my clothes and raced out of the house to the gym anyway.

I booked it into the gym and to the class, knowing I was late and...it hadn't started yet. In fact, people were still waiting outside the studio and the instructor hadn't arrived yet. I had enough time to change my shoes and get ready and the instructor appear apologizing because she thought the class was supposed to start at 7:40 instead of 7:30. Lucky for me (and the rest of my family) because I was able to get a really good workout, calm down and return to reality.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to clarify one of the comments I got yesterday. Right after I got my new (to me) car, I was driving the kids home and Kailyn said she didn't feel good. She then proceeded to vomit all over the back of the car--I mean ALL OVER the back of the car. It was down the door, on the seat, all down the back of the front passenger seat including the handy pocket and all over her. I definitely felt bad for her that she was sick BUT I felt more bad that our car could, potentially, smell like vomit FOREVER! So, I implemented a new rule (which may seem mean but I think it totally makes sense). If you're going to barf, open the collar of your shirt and puke all you want! I can throw clothes in the washing machine and a kid in the tub and in a few minutes they'll be good as new. Or if the clothes are to nasty, I can burn them. But the car, the carpet, the couch, the walls and all the other things in vomit radius will take me SO much longer to clean. In the shirt = contained nastiness. I think it's BRILLIANT! Soon everyone will be puking in their shirt...then they'll be buying shirts made specially for puke...ok, maybe I've taken it a little far but still...BRILLIANT!

Phoenix Project: Day 12

Usually Sunday mornings are a little...insane in our household. It doesn't matter what time we have to leave for church, we're always late. I was a bit nervous because Bob was gone this morning so I knew I'd have to do it all myself. I was really tired this morning but when I woke up, Lukas was sitting next to me quietly reading a book. He's so adorable! He woke up early but didn't want to wake me and didn't want to go downstairs by himself. It was a really wonderful way to start the day...and for the first time in a long time, we weren't late!

I really enjoyed the day. I was asked to substitute in a Primary class (the children's Sunday school) today and it was so refreshing to listen to kids sing and participate in the activities. I had a few minutes to spend with my little class and they were so well behaved! I have a serious appreciation for the Primary leaders and teachers. They have been so wonderful to my children and express great love, care and concern for them. I believe that it takes a village to raise a child and I am so glad that I have the support of this church to help me as I raise my family.

**On a side note: Bob made it home safe from his winter camp and with all limbs still attached!**

Phoenix Project: Day 11

What an awesome day! It was, from start to finish, wonderful! I slept really well last night, which is surprising as I HATE sleeping alone (Bob's still camping). I was early enough to get to the gym and get an intensive workout, came home and mixed up some cookies (yes, this might have defeated the purpose of the gym) and headed out with friends to an Indian buffet for lunch (YUM!). I spent the day surrounded by great friends, good food and LOTS of laughing! I iced sugar cookies a stunning shade of green which, when consumed, tinted my tongue and teeth an unflattering hue!

Kelly came over for the "ol' kid switch-a-roo" and, lucky for me, she stayed for a movie. It was so nice to have a girls night. It was 2 years ago that, after a series of unfortunate events, we moved in the Kelly, Richard and the kids. It was 1 year ago that we were able to move out on our own again. While moving out here has been a very difficult experience for both our families, and I would never wish this kind of learning and growth on anyone, I have appreciated having Kelly be there with me. If there is truly someone who understands what I've been through and what I'm going through now, it's her. She has given me strength, support, charity, love and hope.

Yep, today has been a good, good day!

Phoenix Project: Day 10

I've known all week that today was going to really busy. I work with the youth of church on a regional level and a few months ago we issued a challenge for each unit to come up with a video advertising values and morals. Today we all got together to view the video submissions and vote on a winner. Everyone came dressed in their pajamas and brought their pillows and blankets; we ate junk food and watched each video. I have been so blessed to work with these amazing teenage girls! They have had a huge impact on my life and I am continually learning from them.

Bob left this morning to go on a winter camp with his young men and won't be back until Sunday. I know that he'll have a wonderful time--he loves this kind of stuff and he doesn't really mind the cold (after living in Winnipeg, I don't think anything feels cold to him anymore!) Kailyn and Lukas are off having a sleepover with two of their best friends, Tia and Reece (thanks so much Kelly!)

I am the luckiest!

Phoenix Project: Day 9

Bob volunteered to accompany Lukas and his class on their first day of skating today. Unfortunately, he was sent off to do a job in Barrie and couldn't make it. I felt bad that he had to back out at the last minute but I usually work on Thursdays and couldn't help either. Yesterday as I was getting ready to leave work, I found out that there wasn't anything for me to do for the rest of the week so I didn't have to come in until Monday. It's been a really busy week and I had a lot of stuff I wanted to get done today. I was really hoping to get to the gym this morning and if I did, I wouldn't be able to help with skating.

The memory of my first day at skating came back to me. My family was financially challenged when I was young and I didn't own a pair of skates. The school had a rack of old skates that could be borrowed. I pulled out the first pair I saw (I was 6 so sizes didn't really mean much to me) and they were 4 sizes too big. I took them with me to the rink and tried to put them on--they were huge! I remember starting to cry a little--I felt really stupid that the skates didn't fit and I didn't know how to tie the laces. I was sitting on the bench by myself and out of the corner of my eye I saw my parents walk in to the arena. I was so relieved to see them! I showed them the skates I borrowed from the school and asked them for help. They pulled out a brand new pair of skates and they fit me perfectly.

That was one of the most memorable moments of my life and I decided that I didn't want to miss Lukas' first skating day. Lukas has never really been on the ice before and he was moving VERY slowly along the edge. His very best friend, Jonathan (who is a seasoned skater) was right by his side. I watched from the side as Jonathan cheered him on, encouraging him to keep going. Lukas fell. I watched as Jonathan dropped to ice beside him and taught him how to get up again. This was the highlight of my day--these two amazing little boys! Jonathan has been such a good friend for Lukas and I am filled with gratitude for their unique bond.

Phoenix Project: Day 8

I had a thought last night that I've been mulling over all day. I know, at times, I can be a little slow, so maybe everyone else gets this already. I was was thinking about faith. Maybe faith isn't just a leap into the unknown. Maybe faith is a leap into the unknown without a parachute or back up plan. Maybe, I've been thinking, "Yeah, I can trust you, God but if it doesn't work out I'll...(insert genius idea here)..." I don't think this means I'm supposed to sit around and wait for something miraculous to happen but perhaps I need to let go--really, what do I have to lose?

Thoughts?

Phoenix Project: Day 7

Today had a bit of crazy start...we all slept in!! It's kinda funny that sleeping in, on a day off, is the MOST WONDERFUL THING! But, sleeping in on a work/school day = CRAZINESS! Kailyn had 7 minutes to get up, dressed, eat and race out the door to catch the bus. Lukas also had to rush to get ready and get to school. Bob and I were both late for work. Today was a Tuesday that felt like a Monday. BUT...

...I came home for work to this on my front door:

It's amazing how a few paper hearts can completely change someones day! Our house was "heart attacked" on Valentine's Day (by an "unknown" party") and I saw the lovely hearts on Monday morning but I didn't really leave the house on Monday.

You can't really get the full effect of a "heart attack" until you come home after a long crazy day...it's cold...it's yucky outside and you just want to pull on your pj's and call it a day. Then WHAM! Instant pick-me-up, waiting for me...not only are there cute messages but there's also some really funny inside jokes that make me laugh out loud! Some examples are:

"Love you Long Time!"

"You are a FOX!"

"You are a terrible friend. I hate you!" from Flash Forward (awesome, addictive show)

Yep, gotta say that was definitely the BEST part of my day! And to my "anonymous" heart attackers, thank you!

Phoenix Project: Day 6

Day 6! Where to start...it's been a really great day and it started before I woke up!

I SLEPT IN!!

Hooray for holidays! Then I awoke to the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen (there's no calories on holidays, right?). Bob was up making a breakfast wonderful breakfast which included: German pancakes, homemade syrup, bacon and eggs!

Bob and I watched ET with the kids--it's so different watching it as an adult! We squished up on the couch and laughed (and almost cried) through the movie.

Bob took the kids sledding.

I watched Parks and Rec online.

We had dinner and then watched a movie with friends. Just as I sat down to post tonight, I got an encouraging email from one of my oldest friends. She's amazing! She's one of those friends that knows EVERYTHING about me and STILL loves me anyway!

Today's been a good, good day!

Phoenix Project: Day 5

After church today I came home and started dinner. I'm working away in the kitchen and I can hear KC in the other room playing the piano. At first I thought she was playing the demo button but then I realized she was playing the demo song. KC doesn't have any music for this. She plays the majority of the time by ear. Actually, her piano teacher had to completely stop playing anything for her because she would listen to the teacher play it and then play it back instead of reading the music. She's a talent, but sneaky kid! One of my favorite things to do is listen to her play.

So, here she is...

Phoenix Project: Day 4

Today has been full of good things! My house is clean (hooray!), my kids spent time with friends, Bob played laser tag with his scouts and to top it all off, we had a date night tonight! It's amazing that after 11 1/2 years it's still so fun to hang out with my best friend! I love when we take the time to just be together; it doesn't matter what we're doing! I am really looking forward to the long weekend and the time we can spend together as a couple and a family...

Phoenix Project: Day 3

I realize that yesterday was Day 3 but I didn't get a chance to post. Yesterday morning I sent the kids off to school and, because it was my day off, I went to the gym to catch a couple of classes. I rushed into Physique 57, a killer class that leaves me sore for a few days and as I walking out of that one, decided to sneak into Anti Gravity Yoga. The class has large silk hammocks that hang from the ceiling that we use to implement different poses and stretches. It was really refreshing to take some time to clear my head, relax and unwind. The pose below is one of my favorites!

Phoenix Project: Day 2

I didn't have to look very far to find some good today: I love these little faces! Actually, I can't believe how big they're getting--or how old! I know, Lukas is in desperate need of a haircut...it's actually curling around his ears but it doesn't seem to matter how crazy his hair is, he makes it look cute! And what about KC? Cute, smart, sassy & talented...she's got it all!

And, what can I say about this one? I love that Lukas' feet are right under Kailyn's nose and that he's literally falling off the bed! Then there's the little pink hippo on the floor and it almost looks like it's thinking, "Please don't fall on me!" Ha!

Phoenix Project: Day 1

I have come up with a name for this new positive direction: Phoenix Project. The phoenix is a mythical creature that, at the end of its life, is burnt to ashes and out of those ashes rises a new, young (ha ha--don't I wish!) phoenix. I certainly feel like I've crashed and burned but it's time to rise up, better than before!

As for my positive moment of the day...Lukas and his ninjitsu class decided to raise money for Haiti by doing as many push ups as they could in 10 minutes. Lukas, being 6, had some difficulty understanding the tragedy in Haiti but really wanted to participate. He's been practicing over the last week and today he completed 167 push ups!! We are so proud of him for his effort! His practice total before today was about 90 so he really worked very hard tonight!

Kailyn also contributed to fundraising for Haiti. She sold Valentine cookie grams and thanks to donations from Grandma and Aunt Sherry, we have a TON of cookies to give away!

I am really pleased with the efforts both kids have made to help others who are suffering.

The Truth

I've had a few comments here and there (not mentioning any names...Starr) about the lack of posts on my blog. I've been thinking about this for a while now and I think it's time to tell the truth--just put it all out there. So, here goes...

The last few years have been...challenging (which is an understatement). It was 3 years ago that we decided to move 3000 km away from our home, our family and our friends. Why? Most of you know that we are very religious and, even though it may sound crazy (especially given all we been through), we moved away because we felt like it was the right decision for our family. So, with no job, no place to live and no idea what we getting into, we jumped with complete faith into the unknown.

The last 3 years have included 4 different homes, 3 different schools for our kids, 6 jobs (between Bob and I), 1 broken leg and unbelievable debt. This has been discouraging, frustrating, aggravating and at times I wonder if we made the right decision. BUT, in these last 3 years we have also experienced a plethora of blessings: financial help from family and friends, new friendships, strengthened seasoned friendships, spiritual growth, leadership opportunities, and many miracles that have happened on a regular basis.

Sometimes, my dark and twisty soul likes to focus on the negative things...the difficult things and unfortunately, sometimes has become too often. I've allowed myself to become cynical and pessimistic instead of focusing on all the good things that this experience has brought me. I'm not the person I want to be. I’ve found it really difficult to blog because I have nothing to say—nothing that I really want anyone to know. I felt that people (family and friends) would judge me for making such a crazy decision to move out here, beg me to move back (which I don’t feel good about doing), pity me for our run of bad luck (I don't want to be looked at with pity or like I'm broken) or perhaps would be disappointed in negative person I’ve turned into.

So in an effort to purge the negative and re-adjust my focus, I will be starting my own challenge. I will be actively seeking the good things, God's tender mercies, and chronicling them here (which means hopefully there will be a lot more updates). I'm hoping that through this adjustment I can become the person I want to be!